It All Worked Out

When I went to the ILC presentation in the fall I wasn't sure if it was something I really wanted to do. The overall experience seemed to be worth it, but you could also end up writing essay after essay, and going to interview after interview with no luck. Initially I wasn't sure if I was up for that.

When Don sent the email detailing what was necessary to apply to be a part of the UChicago cohort, I was instantly intrigued. UChicago was going to be one of the schools that I was seriously considering, but wouldn't get a chance to visit, therefore taking away all personal aspects and experiences of the school. When I looked at the course listings and saw the Physics of Stars as an option, I knew I had to jump on it. 

Of course, I procrastinated and ended up rushing to write both my pre-essays and my topic essay, get them all edited and tidied up, and turn them into Don on time. Then it was time to wait. When I didn't receive an email on the date we were first told about I immediately figured I didn't make it to the interview stage, so when Don called me to tell me that I was going to interview I was ecstatic. 

I had so much nervous energy at the interview, so I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Luckily Jahnvi was also in the mood for talking, so we talked almost the entire time we were waiting. I interviewed sixth, and though I was initially nervous, the farther I we got in the questions the more confident I was in answering. Though it hadn't felt long when I was in the room, when I left I found out I had been gone for 20 plus minutes. The next hour or so was incredibly nerve-wracking. The panelists took some time to deliberate, and when Don came back into the room to tell us the results, he framed it in the worst way possible.

Our names were stated followed by "Pack your bags... you're going to Chicago." By the time I had processed that I was actually chosen, we had already been whisked into another room to take pictures. The whole night was completely surreal to me.

Throughout our other activities in preparation for heading off, we got to know each other better as a cohort. Immediately after the interview we exchanged phone numbers and began a group chat where we of course discussed our plans behind Don's back, only to let him in the loop later.

When the dinner and school board meeting rolled around, I realized just how important ILC is as a whole. We had an amazing opportunity to represent WCCUSD to alums and members of the school board. Raqeeb and I even had the opportunity to speak at these events and share how we will be able to bring back what we learn to our community. 

By the time we left, I wasn't really sure what to expect. I had predictions about how my class would be, but I didn't know how much I would like UChicago or the city of Chicago in general.

Before we realized the great time we would have!

The first week I socialized a lot with people throughout the entire program and in different classes, but not really in my class. When Jahnvi switched into my class I found myself being more social with my classmates, but still not talking to everyone. Over the weekend after the first week and when the Pathways program moved in I talked to more people and went out more often.

The second week I realized that this was going to be my last week at UChicago before we went to Yerkes, so Jahnvi and I went out more and talked to people we definitely don't see often in our district. People who can afford Prada and pay for rides downtown in exchange for shoe deliveries. 

At Yerkes I had the amazing opportunity to work with great functioning telescopes and gather data that furthered the project Jahnvi and I worked on. I also made more friends within my class and found people I wish I had talked to sooner.

Upon being back, and beginning school on Wednesday I realize how much I enjoyed the environment at UChicago. Though Middle College High School is probably better about people wanting to be there than other schools, there are still plenty of people who don't appreciate the environment. In classes students speak over classmates and teachers, and don't pay attention to the information. I didn't realize how spoiled I was at UChicago with people actually liking the class and being respectful to speakers. It was an environment that was conducive to learning both from your teachers and your peers, and I really miss it.

I have already been able to in person speak to a classmate who was unsure about applying to UChicago and convince them to go for it, and I can't wait for more opportunities to do so.

Final Farewell

At that time, I would not have realized it yet, but the ILC presentation would open many doors for me. 

My journey with ILC after the presentation began before my interview and – surprising, even to this day – subsequence acceptance for the Chicago program. Back around December or so of last year, I still had my heart and goal set on getting into the Vanderbilt program, strongly attracted by the Medical 101 course. I wrote the pre-essays and main essay, submitting just a matter of minutes before the deadline. Even though I put in effort into those essays, it still came as a somewhat of a surprise to both me and my parents when I made it to the interviews.

I pretty much entered into that competition the worst way possible – I knew what I wanted, and I worked to try to obtain it, but in reality, I lacked much of the motivation and ambition to see my desire into reality. Obviously, I did not make it into the Vanderbilt program, but I did leave that night with a few new friends and new experiences. Thus, for a while, I was content to put ILC in the back of my mind, and in the corners of my mind it stayed – until the email for the Chicago program came around a month later.

I'm so glad I met everyone!

Now, it would make a very nice story to say I learned from my mistakes and flaws from my first time applying to ILC and channeled my determination to improve into my second applying, which was to the Chicago program. However, that was not the case. I was much more uncertain the second time around about whether I even wanted to apply. What had attracted me so much to Vanderbilt that first time had been its medical course, and the offerings listed at Chicago made me hesitate. Luckily, at the gentle nudging of my parents, I applied again and made it to the interviews once more.

I remember arriving at ECHS for the second time, only to find that all the interviewees were much more intense than what I had experienced that first interview for Vanderbilt. Unlike last time, I didn’t find anyone I just clicked with. I remember looking around the room and feeling the seriousness of the competitive atmosphere, everyone’s anxiety and jitteriness. I questioned my right to be there. Somehow, during the interview, I managed to stutter out worse responses (at least, in my opinion) than I had at the Vanderbilt interview. I braced myself for the worst.

It was a shock for me when I heard Don announce my name as part of the 2017 Chicago cohort. I was completely stunned and floored; I was about to head back home after congratulating whoever got selected this time. My parents were so happy for me when they found out, and I was, too. But I think a part of me still didn’t believe in myself completely. The following months, the ILC school board meeting and dinner with alumni happened – and I shrunk away from experiences such as the short speeches that other members gave. I talked to people during ILC events, but I knew I could have made more effort to socialize and communicate more with other people.

ILC Orientation

I didn’t really break out of my shell until after I arrived at UChicago, and I realized that unless I wanted to live my life as a hermit in my dorm the whole three weeks, which some may argue I still did, I had to go talk to people and make friends. I didn’t have room to feel intimidated or to doubt myself. Even if I had to pretend confidence in the beginning, that confidence eventually become real, and I could strike up small conversations with random people everywhere (the dining hall staff is really nice, btw. I loved all of them).

During my time Chicago, I met a lot and all kinds of people. There were people I liked (my class was awesome!), and people I didn’t like. There were people whose values and choices I didn’t agree with, but it’s also thanks to meeting those people that I found my own identity. Where I once went with the flow – letting go small differences in principles because they weren’t worth it to fuss about, doing it so often that my own feelings become subdued – I was forced to abandon that way of living in Chicago because it was no longer a matter of subtle differences in values that existed between me and the people I met.

Memories with friends

I was faced with people who were very different from myself, but difference is not always good (though it could be, and I met many wonderful, different people in Chicago). I realized I needed to start drawing lines, defining my own boundaries, so I know where I stand and for what I stand, after being passive and indifferent for so long.

Finally, during the past three weeks, I was reminded again how picky I am with choosing who to befriend, but I also learned the friendships I do form are strong, healthy, and supportive. I don’t – can’t – make friends left and right, but the friends I’m willing to make are ones I’m willing to make an effort to keep for a long time, and that’s fine by me, even if I don’t have the most friends.

So, thank you to Don, who made everything possible and never gave up on us even while irritated at us. Thank you to Ms. Sciacca, who leaves the sweetest comments on our blogs and is the best chaperone ever. Thank you to my cohort, the only pieces of “home” I had back at Chicago. Thank you to my parents, who supported me and suffered through my innumerable calls home. Thank you to my friends, one in particular <3, back home, who eased my transition and homesickness when I didn’t want to talk to anyone else. Thank you to Ms. Kronenberg. Thank you to UChicago. And a thousand more thank yous to the panelists, the school board, and everyone else who made this experience possible for me.

I have grown much as a person during those three weeks, and none of this would have been possible without everyone at my side.

Many Sacrifices, No Regrets

Speaking at the Chicago-Vanderbilt dinner; public speaking
has always been something I've tried to avoid.

It’s been such a long ride with the Ivy League Connection (ILC) program. There have been times where I’ve wanted to give up, and there have been times where I questioned how much time I was willing to sacrifice to become a participant on this trip, but every time that I really gave it some thought, the more I realized that what I truly wanted was to be able to call myself a part of the ILC program and to represent the district at a top university as a student, even if only for the summer. Looking back on this lengthy adventure, I realize that the magnitude of effort and the amount of hours that I’ve put into applications, meetings, and writing for this program has been great, but also that I don’t regret committing any of it.

I remember being pulled out of class to attend the initial informational meeting in the school library. After it, a lot of kids were complaining about how much work the application sounded like and how they didn’t want to deal with someone as seemingly overbearing as Don. The meeting had the opposite effect on me; I was motivated by the slight chance that I would earn the right to attend a top university for three weeks of the summer, and that there was a person as invested in the program as Don was that would be there for support along the way.

My first set of application essays, to the Vanderbilt program, were rejected. Don emailed me after the scores were sent out to tell me that if I had formatted the titles of my documents correctly, it would have given my scores the boost needed to push me into the interview pool. Galvanized by the new apparency of my problems, I re-formatted my titles and eagerly awaited the results for the Chicago applications. I got a call on the day of my school’s jazz festival that one of the eight selected interviewees could not make the interviews and that I, as the applicant whose essays landed in ninth, was now invited to interview. Even after being told that my formatting was incorrect, I had still landed outside of the top eight, except that now I had a chance to prove my worth.

I went into the interviews with a chip on my shoulder. My pride was hurt by the fact that my essays weren’t good enough to earn me selection into the initial pool of interviewees, even after I fixed my formatting issues. A couple of days before the interviews, Alice Johnson, a Chicago cohort member from last year, sat down with me to go over the interview process and possible questions that might be posed. I felt well prepared on the day of, and added to the motivation I had to do well by my lackluster performance on the essay section, I was really excited to show the interviewers that I deserved to be on the plane to Chicago come July.

Looking back at our performance on the interviews.

The session went well, which is why I’m writing this blog post. However, it wasn’t exactly smooth sailing after that. There were more applications to complete, forms to fill out, meetings and info sessions to attend, and emails to respond to. A lot of emails to respond to. At a crucial part of the application to the actual class that I wanted to take at UChicago, the emails from the school kept ending up in the “Promotions” tab of my inbox, buried under scores of shoe discounts and online sales offers. I feel like that period was a quintessential couple of weeks for the relationship between myself and the ILC program; there were many complications and problems that needed to be solved, but when they were all taken care of, what was left was something greater than I could possibly have hoped for.

Around the time of the Chicago application, with the rest of the cohort.

Even while I was in Chicago, I had to make time to blog for the program, which was the least I could do to give back to the organization that flew me there. And now that the program is over, I’m still blogging. The ILC has truly become an ever-present aspect of my life since the first time that Don introduced it at school. I don’t regret even a single second that I’ve spent on this program, be it reading emails, writing blogs, listening to Don speak at meetings, or just worrying about applications. It hasn’t always been easy, but the whole journey turned out to be a great learning experience and a lot of fun in the end.

These people helped make the trip as fun as it was.

An Indescribable Experience

The 3 weeks I spent in Chicago have helped me grow in so many more ways than I thought possible from what is supposed to be a predominantly academic experience. While I did learn and develop in the classroom, rising to the challenges set for me by my professors, I also learned an incredible amount outside of it. I learned about myself and how I relate and interact with others that I seemingly don’t have much in common with. I also learned about how to divide my time and abilities so that I perform as well as possible in all areas of my life and about how people from different parts of the world see school and studies. 

The cohort and I on one of our first days in Chicago. 

Doing my own laundry was a first.

My class took up so much of my time while I was actually at UChicago that I didn’t have the chance to step back and take a look at how rapidly I was changing as a person, but now that I’ve been back for a couple of days, I can see that what the program actually influenced me the most in was not my attitude towards academics, but my sense of self and understanding of my personality. Having to balance class, coursework, meal-times, practicing my instrument, getting exercise, doing laundry, and making sure that I was saving enough time for fun and sleep was tough, but in doing so, I was exposed to a new level of responsibility that I had to reach to succeed. I realized that I’m the type of person who needs to have something to schedule around, so I structured my life around the opening and closing times of the dining hall. I quickly learned that it was really hard for me to do work around anyone I had even a remote relationship with, so I used my resources and studied in the library or reading rooms. Not being able to walk back and forth from my room to the bathroom conveniently forced me to be more efficient with my time there, which made me plan every trip before I went anywhere. That was especially important for my laundry trips; sometimes I would forget money, other times detergent, sometimes even clothes that I meant to wash. Before I knew it, I was managing my own time more effectively than I ever have, being more disciplined than I ever had to be, and planning my days and activities beforehand. Now, I wasn’t exactly perfect, but I did everything as best as I could and I made growth that was obvious to even myself. 

I learned that I was easily distracted by people, so I spent a lot of time studying in the library.

I said that the ILC experience wasn’t entirely academics-focused, but that doesn’t mean that the class wasn’t a priority; it was, but the other aspects of the trip were just more influential than I expected. In class, I had to learn about how to stay attentive enough during lectures to be able to participate during the discussions and stay ready for the random quizzes. I also had to learn how to balance my coursework with the daily blogging; some assignments were open-ended response answers, and if I wanted to get a reasonable amount of sleep, it was required that I learned to balance the time I spent on them with the time I put into the blogs. It was my first exposure to necessary compromise; I wasn’t always maximally efficient and I also spent time on activities for leisure, so it wasn’t realistic for me to pour all of my heart and soul into both coursework and blogging. Instead, I tried as best as I could to sacrifice from both equally with losing too much quality, and it turned out well for my class grade and the amount of sleep I got. 

From the top: late night soccer; Shake Shack; and the view from a downtown rooftop. I had to manage my time so I could have fun.

One thing that was totally unexpected about the program was the amount of foreign kids there were, specifically from China. Around half of the kids living on my dorm floor were Chinese. Speaking to them exposed me to completely different perspectives. For one, anything less than perfection in academics is seen as a disappointment to most of them. My friend Lucy, who lives in Shanghai, was upset that she got a 4 on the AP Language and Composition Test as a foreign speaker. Most people at my school would be delighted with that score. Another common trait among them was their work ethic. Putting in the hours studying one topic was something that was new to me, but it was normal to them. They were used to the rigor of a more challenging school system, a system that involved a lot more stress and pressure. That being said, many of the kids from China that I met were outgoing and social; they were delighted with their newfound internet freedom, and were excited to make American friends.

In addition to international kids from the other side of the world, there were also so many American students with very different backgrounds. A lot of the people went to boarding schools and were very wealthy, while others came from inner cities and were also there on scholarship. When I was meeting someone, I had no idea what to expect, which taught me to judge people less based on their looks and my preconceptions of them. Some people were shocked when I told them that my school has almost 400 people per class; their schools had 400 people in total. Learning about their lives gave me an idea of what kind of opportunities people who may go to more privileged schools get, and it made me realize that I was going to far fall behind if I didn’t make the most of mine. 

Some of the friends I made on this trip.

My professor, Kate, and I.

My time in Chicago was like an accelerator for the development and maturation of myself and my values. From improving my responsibility and time management to hearing about the world and the rest of the country, I started to acquire skills and experiences that I wouldn’t have if I had just stayed home this summer. Being exposed to so many intelligent, privileged kids motivated me to do my best in school and make the most out of the opportunities. Most of all, in addition to all of the learning and growing I did, and this is something that I haven’t really mentioned so far, the trip was an amazingly fun experience. Even before class started, the cohort was going all over the city, doing touristy activities and having a good time. I went all over downtown with my friends. I took public transport, I explored the campus, and I captured many, many photos. I had more fun on this trip than I thought possible from a class-oriented stay at a top university, and I’m really grateful to have had this chance. 

I'm going to remember these past three weeks for a long time.

Did That Really Just Happen?

When we met up at El Cerrito HS early in the morning and immediately had shuttle troubles, I was only sure about one thing. One way or another, my time at UChicago would at the very least be interesting. At this point so many other words also pop into my mind such as phenomenal, educational, or perfect.

After we were finally on campus, I immediately became concerned with finding friends. My RA group was nice, but most had connections through their boarding schools and had mutual friends, so I didn't exactly fit in. My roommate wasn't a very talkative type and seemed disinterested in having a conversation with me. I was worried that I wouldn't make many friends all three weeks, but that quickly changed. Soon I was spending time with the rest of the cohort and Kara, Olivia, and Michelle.

When class started on Monday, it was better than I ever could've expected. Instead of the competitive environment I thought I would be walking into, the class was supportive and curious. My instructors were all helpful and the class was not reliant on lectures. Even after the first few days I had learned so much from the material we were taking in, and the people around me. I had prepared myself to go in and immediately have to fight for people to take me seriously, but thankfully that wasn't the case. The class became even more fun when Jahnvi switched in.

Physics of Stars made me realize just how much I love trying to figure out problems and how much I love the feeling when I've figured something out. The first project I did seemed like I would keep running into dead ends, because there seemed to be no available information. When the information was finally figured out, and I found the luminosity of a pulsar, the excitement I felt was amazing and all I wanted to do was find out more about the universe.

Spending the weekends with the cohort along with our new friends was always interesting. A world I had never been  invited to really opened up before my eyes when we went places I wouldn't think of going, or talked to people I wouldn't think of speaking to before. The ear piercings, hair dying, and trips downtown were all worth it. Spending time with the wonderful friends I made like Michelle, Kara, and Olivia, is what really made all the difference for me. Though it made for some late nights, I don't regret the time I spent with my wonderful UChicago friends. 

Kara was always being hopelessly honest, always barging in when she was bored, and creating our backup plans. I certainly would've gone far fewer places if she hadn't managed to work things out or hadn't wanted to go out so much. Michelle was our fellow Bay Area girl, and was absolutely crazy, but she was always introducing herself to new people and making new friends, which in turn gave me more friends. We dragged Olivia into our world on the first day, and she was our navigator and ever helpful, even when she was annoyed with our interruptions

When it was time for the trip to Yerkes Observatory, initially I was sad to be missing out on time with the friends I had already made, completely unaware of the friends I would end up making while at Yerkes.

The overall Yerkes was amazing. From a scientific standpoint, it was a great opportunity to collect data and be in a place where actual observation and data analysis happens. We were given an amazing opportunity to be able to use the available equipment for our data, and with it we dove into and found out remarkable things. Socially, I ended up talking to people I only had limited conversations with before and had some great laughs anytime from 2 AM in a dorm room to 7 PM at the lake. Jared and I really only started talking in the middle of the third week, which is a bummer considering we have similar senses of humor and managed to be in the same class without really speaking. Nick is almost scarily nice, and I wish I had started talking to him sooner, even though his jokes are ridiculous. Lister is fearless and wildly intelligent, I'm sad I only started talking to her the last week.

Jahnvi and I spent so much time together. When we first met at the interview, I hoped we would get in together, and I'm so glad we did. We've stayed up way too late, invaded people's rooms, and wandered around downtown together. Cecilia was the sane one of the group, which is exactly why we all needed her.  Raqeeb, fell asleep on the L every time which is ridiculous, but didn't completely ignore my and Jahnvi's constant pestering. Ms.Sciacca/Mom/Sciacca Flocka Flame was the best chaperone we all could've hoped for.

Our time at UChicago was an amazing experience I'll never forget. 

The End to a Long, Winding Journey

Making a home out of a new city and a completely new place in the short span of three weeks is not an easy thing to do, both in theory and in actuality, as I have learned. I think this rang true for me the most, the one who is more reserved compared to the rest of my cohort.

It never really sunk in for me until departure day that I was going away to a foreign city, away from my family, leaving all my friends and everything I’ve known so far (okay – maybe that’s a little dramatic). Maybe a part of me just denied it until the very last minute, but it definitely hit me – and hard – on departure day, as we stood in front of ECHS for hours waiting for our late shuttle.

Arrival to UChicago

The first few days at UChicago, I spent a bit of time away from people in general, however hilarious that might sound. I saw my cohort here and there, but I retreated to my dorm room whenever possible. I think I needed that break away from everyone. Everything was moving so fast; I needed that time to regroup and figure out where I stand on this shaky, new ground.

I am not afraid to admit I was intimidated at the beginning, by all my fellow summer session students and even by my own cohort. I was suddenly dropped in an environment where everyone was talking about their fours or fives on their AP tests and their high SAT scores that they are still not satisfied with. On the RA tour trip the first day, that was basically what everyone talked about. Everyone was so much more competitive than I am, and when even some members of my cohort were feeling the pressure, I had to wonder what did that meant for me, when the schools my cohort are from back home here are generally considered much more competitive than mine.

Somehow, though, I dealt with the pressure. I knew I could either cave in or strive to do better, and I chose the latter. And in doing so, I learned many things. The most important and surprising thing– maybe even to you all – is that while there is undeniably a certain, solid gap between standards here at home and at UChicago, it wasn’t nearly as wide as I thought. Either it was that, or Dr. Fineschi did such a beautiful job of going over basics that I honestly never really felt like I was somehow behind or lacking compared to my classmates.

I might have experienced some struggle finding my voice and my confidence inside the classroom in the beginning due to my own insecurities, but if you have read my blogs, you will know that I was soon very engaged in the class discussions and enjoyed every minute of it. I fell in love with the learning atmosphere of our class, with the way Dr. Fineschi always encouraged questions and anything that involved us thinking for ourselves, with everything we did in our labs, and with my whole class as a whole.

I don't know who took this picture (actually, I think Dr. Fineschi did), but I've yet to figure out why it's so yellow. 

There were so many lovely people in my class, and although we were all awkward with each other in the beginning (surprisingly, there wasn’t any really super outgoing person person), we soon became familiar with each other. We made fun of Jonathan, with his “headaches” and how he thought we didn’t have class on Thursday. We loved Isobel’s British accent, and we literally told her to just keep talking so we could hear her voice. We made so many good memories with each other, the whole class went by in a blast, and I wished I had more time to get to know them better.

Over the course of these three weeks, there were times I admit where I envied my cohort’s wildness and their ease in making friends. I wondered and worried at times whether I was simply too uptight, that maybe I should let go and just go with the flow more. But I also realized long ago, in the beginning of the trip, that that wasn’t me – because I have been there with them, and I learned that while I love my cohort with all my heart, I needed to stop myself from feeling like I have to change to catch up with them. I have my own comfort zone, which is different from theirs, and that’s totally okay, too.

Another thing I forgot to add - my photography skills became much better!!

Although I still hung out with Jahnvi, Lindsay, Raqueeb, Olivia, Kara, and Michelle very frequently (featuring Kara pounding on the door and taking naps on my bed while I wrote my blog), I made sure to go out and make my own friends – and I did. I met Karla, and through her, Makayla and Elena.

Karla, who was my gym buddy, who talked about everything from books to anime to Game of Thrones with me, who would gush over our favorite character’s birthday with me. She was easily my best friend at Chicago. Then, there’s also Makayla, who ate cereal at almost every single lunch, who also went on that last RA trip to see the sunrise, and Elena, who was so nice and sweet to me when I first began sitting with them at their table during lunch. I am the type of person who likes to stick with only a few close friends at any given time, and those three were definitely it for me.

Makayla and I were walking buddies on the RA trip to see the sunset on the last day 

It was sad to part way with everyone I've gotten to know. I have spent so much time with Karla, Elena, and Makayla; it's going to feel weird without them to eat lunch with me now. Michelle was a wild roommate, but the dorm never felt the same after she left. I will never forget how Kara and I got matching rings for 99 cents that were supposed to be our wedding rings, but I had to wear mine on my pinkie while she wore hers on her middle finger because of sizing issues. Olivia is the nicest being on this planet, and I am forever grateful to her for letting me stay in her room that one night even though I kept her up with my typing. Raqueeb's sleeping posture, or lack of, is comically and legendary, something I'm sure none of us with ever let him live it down. Jahnvi and Lindsay made me question whether they were long lost sisters separated from birth. 

I’ve grown into my own person over the past three weeks, and I would never have been able to do it without the awesome friends I have made on the way (both new ones and old), my family (I called them very often), my lovely and ever so lively cohort, the best chaperone ever, and Good Don on my side. That’s a lot of people, and it’s thanks to each and every single one of them that I was able to find my footing when I was at a lost.

The class picture were finally uploaded to us!

Although there are still many thing about my future I haven’t figure out, my time in Chicago has made me sure of who I am and who I want to be.

I Guess it is the End

Anything said about these past three weeks would almost be an understatement. I truly don't know how to express how much I've enjoyed my time there.

I was afraid I wouldn't be able to make new friends. I was afraid my roommate and I wouldn't get along. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to understand what's happening in class. I was afraid I would return back the same as I had left. I shoved the negative thoughts to back of my mind, and instead tried to use them to push myself further and ensure none of those came true.

Back when we had no idea what would be in store for us

I remember opening my dorm's door, excited to see who my roommate would be. When it hit me that I had a single, I was devastated. I thought I would be missing out on one of the best experiences. Mom consoled me saying that I would be fine, and I believed her. As time went on, it hardly felt like I had a single. Friends would come into my room all the time, and even fall asleep on a beanbag they dragged in.

Our true colors coming out after a few days

In comparison to Vanderbilt last year, I felt a lot more comfortable. I made multiple friends in our RA group tour, with the first being Olivia and Stella, and my anxiety subsided slowly. As the day went on, things only seemed to get better. I was able to talk to more people than I expected. I could almost sense myself using the small talk skills I picked up last year in Vanderbilt.

When law class started, I became more anxious. Everyone in the room was set on pursuing law and did everything they could to be the best in the class and get on the good side of Ms.Scott. The amount of work given to us was proving to be too much for me, especially since I hated this subject. Social sciences had always been a weakness for me, and I really didn't think I was cut out for this class. I know I took it because it would be a challenge, but this challenge was seeming to be more detrimental than constructive. I remember spending time at dinner worrying more about how to add to the discussion the next day rather than enjoying my time with the

The first day

people around me. No matter how much I would read about a case, I just wouldn't know how to talk about it like everyone else did.

Things got better when I switched classes, even if I started getting less sleep. I was doing something I enjoyed much more. Struggling with make up work and having an underhand with quizzes and homework was still worth it. (Since I was borrowing Ms. Ramseyer's textbook, I couldn't highlight the book and use it during quizzes. I had to hand-write pages of notes and could only use those in quizzes). The first project was also proving to be difficult to work on since I couldn't get time to work on it with the surprisingly big pile of make up work.

Every day, my life probably would have been easier if I started my work at the time most people did, but instead I chose talking to people who barged into my room (*cough cough* Kara and Michelle), and then either socializing outside or going downtown. Do I regret doing that every time? No. In fact, I'd say that's what made this trip unforgettable.

Us trying to deal with Raqeeb and his sleep

Then, before I knew it, the time had come for us to go to Yerkes. Initially, I was very sad to go because I had gotten so used to the dorms and people I saw everyday. I didn't know how to feel about only being around people in the physics class. I hadn't talked to many of my classmates,  and I was afraid I wouldn't have a good time.

Little did I know, the complete opposite would happen. Lindsay and I talked to people who we wished we had spoken to before. We formed lasting bonds and had made so many inside jokes in just a couple of days. We got to push around a huge telescope and view the beautiful night sky away from light pollution. It made the end of the trip harder to face as there would now be more experiences to miss.

Throughout this trip, I've made bonds with people I can never forget. To Lindsay, thank you for becoming my sister/lesbian wife. We did everything together, and told each other secrets we would never tell the world. To Kara and Michelle, thank you for teaching me how to be wild. To Olivia, thank you for putting up with me and my weird hair. Most importantly, to Raqeeb, Cecilia, and everyone else above, thank you for keeping me together in the time I was a mess switching classes. To Alia, Stella, Arthur, and Donna, thank you for supporting me when the switch happened and still keeping in touch. To Jared, Nick, and Lister, I will always regret not becoming closer to you earlier on this trip. 

Nick and I (on the last day)

I still don't feel like facing the reality that the trip is over. I currently have been texting friends the past day to make up for the unfortunate fact that we won't be seeing each other physically anymore. Even through all the downs and sleepless nights, these past three weeks have proved themselves to be some of the best weeks of my life, and I thank everyone who makes ILC happen for this opportunity. Thank you.