Queasy, Mushy, Icky - A Story of How I Feel

Today is the last whole day I will be spending in my house, in Pinole, before I will be calling Chicago “home” for the next three weeks - and quite frankly, I’m not quite sure how I feel right now. It’s definitely different from what I had imagine I would feel months ago, when I first got the scholarship. There is less excitement involved – don’t get me wrong, I’m still excited – but a whole lot more panicking than I expected. I have been feeling such a mix of emotions this whole week; I’m basically a mushy mess inside right now, even if I may outwardly appear fine.

I want to bring my books with me

I woke up this morning feeling so queasy, I actually had a little stomachache! Although, I’m not actually sure if that was nerves or something I ate last night. Either way, while I’m physically prepared for the trip, I’m not quite prepared mentally just yet. However, as Lemony Snicket wrote in A Series of Unfortunate Events: “If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives,” so I’ll be keeping that in mind as I move forward not just this month, but in the future as well.

I owe a big thank-you to my mom for helping me with my packing this whole week, so I didn’t have that much left to do. Today was basically my last-minute packing, making sure I had everything, and checking and double-checking again to make sure that I have everything and I wouldn’t be halfway across the country before I realized I left something I needed back at my house. Packing really isn’t fun for me; I don’t like the feeling of not knowing whether I forgot anything important.

I'm not actually bringing the red and black suitcase with me haha

Finally, I’m glad I had a quiet family day today. We had a fairly normal and average day, but I enjoyed spending my time with my parents, as I won’t see them for three weeks. I will be keeping in touch with them, for sure, but I have never been away from them for this long before, so this will be a first for me. Hopefully, I will be able to grow and mature as an individual from this trip. 

And now, to the countdown until we fly to Chicago – our adventure has yet to begin!